Recipient: Nicole Occupation: Buyer of Products for Large Store Responded On: January 27, 2005 Bill Received At: A Retail Store in Andersonville Chicago Originally Dropped At: Gethsemane Garden Center 5739 North Clark Street Chicago On: January 26, 2005

 

Nicole Anastasi's Comments

What is the cheapest thing you've ever seen somebody do?
The cheapest thing … maybe when you see somebody leave a tip on the table and then they take it away after the person they’re dining with has left … So they’ve gotten credit, so to speak, with the person they’re with … And then they, you know, kind of take a couple dollars back …

That is so bad. I've never heard of that one. You've seen that?
I’ve witnessed that, yes. On the other hand though I’ve seen people … Like my dad will maybe not tip as much as we’d like and then when he turns away, we add … So it goes both ways …

In the United States, if people start out in a very low-paying job, if they work hard enough can they still become quite wealthy or is that a myth?
I think that it happens but I think it isn’t as readily the case as people assume. They assume that if you do work hard, this is definitely possible. And I don’t think that’s true. I think it does happen and then we kind of look to those as shining examples, you know. And it’s easy to point to them and say, well look, and then kind of blame people and say, “Why isn’t this the case for you? You must be lazy or you’re not trying hard enough or you’re not managing your money well enough.” But I don’t think that it’s always the case.

Do you aspire to be a wealthy person?
I definitely aspire to accumulate more wealth than I have now. I hope and I believe about myself that if I had a great deal more than most people, that I would be uncomfortable with it.

I could see where that could definitely change if I ever was in that position and I could definitely make up reasons why, oh, I certainly deserve more than others. I hope that’s not the case.

If I could wave a magic wand and give you any kind of work, what would be your fantasy way to earn a living?
I would say if I was able to make a living in my ultimate fantasy, I would do it by maybe organic farming. That’s been something I’ve been planning. I’ve been saving up and kind of thinking about getting some land and growing my own food first of all, and then trying to maybe go to market with the extra. I dream about having sheep and shearing the sheep and weaving and making rugs and sweaters. I know that’s too much for one person to do. But that’s my mini-fantasy right now.

In our society, do people choose a partner, mate, husband, wife, partly based on considerations of their earning power?
I think very few people I would leave out of this—but most people on some level, whether or not they realize it, are definitely considering issues of money when they select what I would call their life-mate … It’s a partnership and I think most people realize that on some level that it’s certainly going to be easier and they’re going to be able to get the things in life they want if the other person is going to at least have a similar earning power.

As far as when you’re making your decisions about who you’re going to be with, where you go, where you hang out, where you spend your time, whether you get your coffee at Starbucks or whether you get it at the Seven-Eleven, for instance … You know, the price points of these coffees are different and so are the lifestyles of the people that are going to these places … Therefore it’s going to dictate who you meet, even. Where you spend your time, whether you’re hanging out at a convenience store, or a boutique, you know? is going to color your whole life and who you meet.

There’s workout centers that are geared toward meeting people in your class. Where you actually dress to impress, rather than go to sweat and work out and actually get in shape.

Do people partly define themselves in terms of how much they earn?
I think people’s view of their own self, and their self worth is tied pretty strongly to their earning power and how much they’re actually making. If you’re doing well financially, you feel empowered and like you have a say in your life and that you’re in control, basically of your life.

I think that if you’re kind of making it barely from paycheck to paycheck you can feel very much out of control and … your self esteem can definitely suffer.

What is the worst thing you've even done in your life to earn money?
The absolute worst thing I’ve ever done for money … I’m thinking of a couple of things actually. One of them just being absolutely so boring, so boring, I could have lost my mind, working help count inventory at a ribbon shop, where we actually had to unreel each roll of ribbon that was open and measure it … So, real tedious.

And then, on the other hand, I’m someone who has actually sold drugs. So you could say, that’s really not such a great thing either. Two pretty bad things.

What were the circumstances? Why did you sell drugs to earn money? Why did you do that?
First of all, I was in a state of mind, where it just didn’t seem to matter to me. I was at a very low point in my life and things in general just didn’t seem to matter. So what difference would it make? I didn’t value myself enough to worry, what if I get caught? Or what if I really have a part in somebody hurting themselves? It just didn’t figure into the equation. And I needed money to get more drugs for me.

How did you learn how to do it?
Well, first about learning how to do it, I was never good at it. So I don’t know if you cold say I ever learned to do it …

You were a failure as a drug dealer?
(Laughs) Yes, yes … I really didn’t make enough money to get by so I was pretty bad … You know it must be, I felt like on some level what I was doing was wrong because I didn’t want to charge people what I should charge them … Because it didn’t seem fair, because well what is this anyway? You use it and it’s gone? It’s like it never existed in the first place … So I had trouble charging people what I should be charging them … And I lost money really …

I mean it’s really the most basic form, I think, of like, the capitalist system. I learned a lot about how the system works, how money works, how … you know, buy low, sell high … you know, how to do a mark-up… You know, all those simple things that I use in retail NOW are all basic things that you really learn or need to know, in order to sell drugs … It’s all really basic …

How old were you?
Twenty-two. Ten years ago.

When you look back at that, do you think, “I was crazy?”, or like, that made sense then because that was the crazy stuff going on?
It’s almost more creepy that I really do clearly see that it was me. You know, I’m the same person. It wasn’t really all that long ago. And considering the mentality I had at the time, it does sort of make sense to me still. Not that I’d ever want to be involved in it again and even just thinking about it makes my heart race a little bit because it was a really, really stressful time in my life, that I’d never want to re-live. But I can clearly remember it all. That it was me, and my life.

If you can't say, don't—but I'm curious, of course, what kind of drugs we are talking about?
Over the course of, I suppose, ten or more years, actually since I turned 14, I could give you quite a list, starting with marijuana, acid, probably before I even got to high school. Let’s see … Then there was coke, there was crack, I’ve done heroin, crank, which is a form of speed, I’ve done lots of ecstasy, which also has speed in it … I’m always gravitating toward the things that were on the higher end of the spectrum …

You sold all that stuff?
No, I didn’t make a real long habit of dealing. But I have dealt marijuana, a little cocaine, a little heroin, and LSD …

What's your observation? Of the people who are out there dealing drugs, are they mostly doing it out of desperation or “Here's some quick money” … or … this is the only way I have of earning money … I have no other options.
I think there’s a mix. But I think overall it’s a matter of what makes the most sense to a person. You know, what’s the most available means and easy means of making money. And if it’s the most obvious thing that seems the easiest and most reasonable, then that’s a good choice for them … And you have to think too, well I can sell drugs, I can be in this game and I can make a lot of money pretty quickly OR I can struggle for the next 30 years at a minimum wage job and still have nothing to show for it. So it just comes down to what seems more reasonable.

But was that your calculation?
In my case there were no calculations. I’m a person who did have opportunities and had the comfort of knowing that there were people in my life that would take care of me if I needed to be … And they ended up doing that, and putting me in treatment. And really helping me out of a bad situation. So I always had that knowledge that well, that I could have it better if I wanted to. It's just a matter of, I'd say an immature person throwing themselves into bad situations, just because.

What are the best things you've done to obtain money?
Well one of the fun things that I felt a part of was working in a bakery and actually making dough from start to finish … you know by scratch, letting it rise, and cutting it into the little pastries and then actually dressing them and putting them in the oven and selling them … Just the whole experience, start to finish … I like to be involved in the whole project. So that’s very satisfying for me …

More recently I did give a lecture on how to grow herbs indoors in the winter-time so it was just kind of a boost to my ego to be a quote, unquote expert at something …