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Staff Favorites

June 2005
	“Dinner on Top of the World,” Episode 15—Where Have All the Meatheads Gone? Mark Hanner—Writer and Performer I'm always fascinated by same-sex couples who have the same name—such as the couple in this sketch, Dave and David. Here we try to depict a gay relationship that goes beyond caricatures. We also give me an excuse to poorly sing some songs that aren't usual restaurant or piano bar fare. Be warned that the “first gay date” song tends to get stuck in everyone's head!
		Listen to All of Episode 15—Where Have All the Meatheads Gone? Originally broadcast December 7, 2003
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	“Werewolf,” Episode 40—We Apologize in Advance Kate James—Writer and Performer This sketch is just ridiculous. That's why I love it. A man gets caught breaking into a house and blames it on the fact that he's a werewolf. I love the opening argument between the married couple, the idea that the robber “becomes” a werewolf after getting a wolverine to eat a marshmallow out of his mouth, and the joke about Coors Light and silver bullets. The Schadenfreude crew is still divided about whether or not the robber is a werewolf. I say he is. It makes the scene way more bizarre.
		Listen to All of Episode 40—We Apologize in Advance Originally broadcast December 19, 2004
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	“Gretchen & Andre,” Episode 4—I Taped It Off of Kings of Queen Justin Kaufmann—Executive Producer; Writer and Performer Earlier in this episode, resident Schadenfreude shyster character Andre McDonough wants to get Odyssey host Gretchen Helfriches (yes, pluralized) to leave the outgoing message on his answering machine. So at the end of the show, we wrap up Andre's storyline by bringing you Gretchen, in studio, leaving the message. This entire bit is improvised between Gretchen and Andre, played by Schadenfreude's Sandy Marshall.
		Listen to All of Episode 4—I Taped It Off of Kings of Queen Originally broadcast July 27, 2003
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	“I-PASS,” Episode 25—Bureaucracy Rocks Sandy Marshall—Writer and Performer I've always wondered if it's really possible to track the millions of cars that seem to zoom through I-PASS radars on a daily basis—and if it is, how one could possibly retain anonymity while traveling from Elgin to O'Hare. “I-PASS” joins a long line of Schadenfreude sketches featuring a guitar and bongos, and it takes on an improvisational blues feel, with masses sitting around singing the virtues of I-PASS. All with a segue into that famous song by John Lennon. Do you pass? I-PASS!
		Listen to All of Episode 25—Bureaucracy Rocks Originally broadcast April 25, 2004
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	“Susan and Jaime Confess,” Episode 43—Schadenfreude Night Ministry Michael Schwartz—Production Assistant Sexual and other relationship frustrations cloud the marriage of our characters, Susan and Jaime. But this sketch makes a departure from that premise when the couple find common ground by lashing out a mutual enemy who offends them by suggesting divorce. Jaime's feigned interest in the Catholic Church (despite his secret past) is a hilarious highlight, and it's congruent with the themes of religion and belief that run throughout this episode.
		Listen to All of Episode 43—Schadenfreude Night Ministry Originally broadcast March 12, 2005
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	“L'Avion” Adam Witt—Writer and Performer Part of the pilot we submitted to Chicago Public Radio, this sketch has never aired. But I love it because it's the simplest joke in the world! We interview a man who lives near O'Hare about airport expansion, and what happens is the only joke you can imagine. That's it: no wacky neighbor, no character arc, pure simplicity, in and out in two minutes. We should do a show where every sketch is just two minutes long. Oh, wait...we did. Well, why wasn't this in it?
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	“O'Hare: The Musical,” Episode 29—What's in Your Closet? Shiow-Jiau Yung—Editor One of my first real jobs was in community musical theater, so I have a soft spot for musicals. Also, I readily admit that I'm a sap. So in honor of Tony Awards month, here's an original Schadenfreude musical, complete with pleasant two-part harmonies, local political references, and cheesy dancing. You'll have to imagine that last one for yourself.
		Listen to All of Episode 29—What's in Your Closet? Originally broadcast June 13, 2004
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April 2005
	“Jeffrey Osborne,” Episode 5—Bell Biv de Freude Mark Hanner—Writer and Performer I am a huge fan of Jeffrey Osborne, the guy who sings, “On the Wings of Love,” and wanted to write some sort of homage to him because seriously, he is so smooth. And I'd always wondered what it would be like if someone totally unexpected or ridiculous went on a show like Love Connection. So I combined those ideas into this sketch! Also, I wanted to make sure we used Jeffrey's actual songs. I've always been impressed that the guy can use the term “neck” as an action verb. Right on, Jeffrey! As a side note, the woman he dates in this sketch, Patty, is a good friend of the 'freude and was one of our first guest stars! Thaaaaanks!
		Listen to All of Episode 5—Bell Biv de Freude Originally broadcast August 3, 2003
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	“The Foundation for Fighting Natural Causes (FFFNC),” Episode 21—I Love a Parade Kate James—Writer and Performer This commercial parody spoofs everything that is heartfelt and sappy about “disease infomercials.” Adam Witt, as the narrator, cracks me up with his sentimental take on a man who recently lost his grandfather to natural causes. I'm sure you can picture the scene: he's walking on the beach and has just tossed a stick into the ocean for his puppy to fetch. Why is it that you have to be walking along the shore in order to sell a blood pressure medication or fight a deadly disease? Come on, advertising execs, let's see some new ideas! Like roller coasters or salsa dancing competitions! My favorite parts of the sketch? The dog and the choice of music playing in the car.
		Listen to All of Episode 21—I Love a Parade Originally broadcast February 29, 2004
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	“Canseco,” Episode 42—Ask Me about Pulaski Justin Kaufmann—Executive Producer This sketch was performed by Adam Witt during the live taping of our Casimir Pulaski celebration. In this piece, Adam reads a “passage” from Jose Canseco's book, Juiced. Oh, I wish we could post the raw audio because it has so many more...well, take a listen. I spent many a day with my office mates playing this game.
		Listen to All of Episode 42—Ask Me about Pulaski Originally broadcast March 5, 2005
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	“How Hard Can It Be?” Episode 4—I Taped It Off of Kings of Queen Sandy Marshall—Writer and Performer You remember the Nickelodeon game show, Double Dare, right? We ended one of our early episodes with a parody of Double Dare featuring Chicago's own mayor, Richard M. Daley, trampling through an obstacle course laced with ice cream and the now-famous green goop. Earlier in the episode, Daley had lost a battle of the wits to a real-life 12-year-old, Colin Brady, who came to our studios one day to read one of Daley's speeches...better, as it turned out, than Hizzoner himself. So we wanted to give our Mayor the opportunity to redeem his honor by taking the Schadenfreude Physical Challenge.
		Listen to All of Episode 4—I Taped It Off of Kings of Queen Originally broadcast July 27, 2003
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	“Bureaucratica,” Episode 25—Bureaucracy Rocks Michael Schwartz—Production Assistant This sketch is out there, like Mr. Show meets Office Space. In Bureaucratica, there are talking water coolers, “bureauxygen,” and forms to be filled out in triplicate. The scene takes the significance of the entire episode to another dimension...literally. It work were this fun, I'd want to go more often.
		Listen to All of Episode 25—Bureaucracy Rocks Originally broadcast April 25, 2004
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	“Fox News,” Episode 35—Electioneering Adam Witt—Writer and Performer How do you make fun of Fox News in a new way? I think we found a good angle here in the way Fox stages political debate. The person representing the Republicans is given softballs while some less-than-intelligent person is brought in to represent all Democrats. I think this is a great combination of a well-timed scene with social commentary disguised as a funny premise. We also get into and out of the premise very quickly. Once the point's made, there's no reason to hang around. And as over-the-top as this sketch might be, it's actually how Fox News appears to me when I watch it.
		Listen to All of Episode 35—Electioneering Originally broadcast October 31, 2004
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	“Chaz Walters,” Episode 11—Call the Number on Your Screen Shiow-Jiau Yung—Editor Ever wonder what Hot Property's Chaz Walters sounds like? I must admit that until I was sort of tasked with asking Chaz to be on our show, I had no idea who he was. And I still don't think I've seen one of his infamous Chicago billboards featuring his shiny, coiffed, ten-foot-high mug. But he and his marketing director were very good sports, braving the trip to Navy Pier on a sunny Sunday in mid-October to help us with our first-ever fundraising show. Thanks, Chaz and Lisa!
		Listen to All of Episode 11—Call the Number on Your Screen Originally broadcast October 19, 2003
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March 2005
	“Rich Melman Monologue,” Episode 33—Diner Kate James—Writer and Performer Who doesn't like making fun of local celebrities? That's why this self-proclaimed “awesome monologue” has always been one of my favorites. Justin playing Rich Melman, the mogul behind the Lettuce Entertain You restaurants, is one of the most over-the-top moments of season two so far. And any scene that includes the line, “because I'm super-bored, and I'm super-horny” has got to be a winner.
		Listen to All of Episode 33—Diner Originally broadcast October 10, 2004
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	“Kat's Mom,” Episode 31—These Are the People in My Neighborhood Justin Kaufmann—Executive Producer I like this sketch because of its descriptive language and fake sitcom theme song. It brings Kat's Mom, an old character from our Heartland days, together with Folkman Jack, a new character established on the radio. The sketch takes place within the larger scope of our show about Chicago's fictional 53rd Ward, but I think it also stands on its own.
		Listen to All of Episode 31—These Are the People in My Neighborhood Originally broadcast September 26, 2004
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	“Zoe Dunkel/‘Sleigh Ride,’” Episode 16—Yes, Virginia, There Is a Schadenfreude Sandy Marshall—Writer and Performer We all went to high school with someone like Zoe, someone who tries a little too hard to fit in with the other kids. This sketch makes me laugh because, well, Zoe's hilarious. But also because I have fond memories of the horn sections in high school bands—especially “those crazy trombone players” who have ten seconds of fame to express themselves during “Sleigh Ride” at the annual Christmas concert.
		Listen to All of Episode 16—Yes, Virginia, There Is a Schadenfreude Originally broadcast December 14, 2003
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	“Condo Wars,” Episode 22—There Goes the Neighborhood Michael Schwartz—Production Assistant I like this sketch for three reasons. First, it brings to life the fictional characterization of a Chicago legend, Hot Property's Chaz Walters. Second, this sketch demonstrates the possibilities of the radio medium. While we could never have filmed the destruction of “Middle Chicago” on our budget, we were able to paint a vivid picture for the listener through dialogue, music, ambient noises, and the invaluable narration of Paul Friedman. These elements give the piece an epic feel. Third, the protagonist of the sketch, Randy, is based on an actual person who used to hang a banner out of his apartment at the corner of Damen, Diversey, and Clybourn in Chicago, telling yuppies to beware because “White Trash Lives Here.”
		Listen to All of Episode 22—There Goes the Neighborhood Originally broadcast March 14, 2004
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	“Jed Dickerson,” Episode 15—Where Have All the Meatheads Gone? Stephen Schmidt—Writer and Director I've always been a big fan of the over-produced personal stories one hears from the beginning of the playoffs through the championship game. (Fill in your sport of choice here...unless it's hockey.) The ability to portray a man of incredible athletic ability as a “real” person who can play through tragedy, who can play through the most dire of social situations, who can play while only making more money than the combined salaries of all the fans in the stands, is the mark of a true interviewer and editor. I really enjoy this piece because it parodies these personal stories to an extreme—heightening every instance of Jed Dickerson's hardships, physical prowess, and love for God. And a special mention goes out to Lisa Olivier—playing the too-sympathetic, too-emotional, yet impartial reporter and interviewer. I love sports!
		Listen to All of Episode 15—Where Have All the Meatheads Gone? Originally broadcast December 7, 2003
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	“Wayne and Paul Intro,” Episode 29—What's in Your Closet? Adam Witt—Writer and Performer It's like we made a bet to see how many jokes we could shove into one sketch. The jokes are rapid-fire, and almost every type of joke imaginable is in this three-minute sketch: pop references, local references, “joke jokes,” audio jokes, list jokes, and call-forwards. It's very playful, and the performances really sell it. This sketch is the first “runner” in the episode, so it doesn't have an ending, but for such a utility piece, its quality is all there. Enjoy.
		Listen to All of Episode 29—What's in Your Closet? Originally broadcast June 13, 2004
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	“Jason Party Voice Mail,” Episode 35—Electioneering Shiow-Jiau Yung—Editor For the crown jewel of this sketch, production assistant Michael Ognisanti and I went down to Rainbow/PUSH Coalition headquarters at seven o'clock on a Saturday morning, watched Reverend Jesse Jackson tape his weekly TV show, wrote an impromptu script in Sharpie on the back of an algebra worksheet (I used to tutor math to help pay the bills), prayed in a circle with the Reverend and his guests (According to Michael, I initially snubbed the outstretched hand of the Reverend's advisor, Butch, who was standing next to me. And our DAT machine, which we had put into “record-pause” mode, whirred while the Reverend was talking with God...oops!), chased the Reverend down the hall to his office while trying to explain to Butch and another advisor what we were asking the Reverend to do, recorded two takes of the Reverend (He shot us a half-serious glare when we asked for a safety.), thanked him and his advisors profusely, and quickly shuffled out the door before they could change their minds.
		Listen to All of Episode 35—Electioneering Originally broadcast October 31, 2004
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